


Lotus in Full Bloom

by foxjar



Category: Persona 2, Persona 5
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Kurosu Jun, Condoms, Crossover, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minor Kitagawa Yusuke/Kurusu Akira, Pining, Post-Canon, Teacher-Student Relationship, Top Kitagawa Yusuke, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-07 13:04:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21458521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxjar/pseuds/foxjar
Summary: Jun and Yusuke find comfort in each other as their respective love interests remain oblivious.Something has to give.If Jun has learned anything, it's that Kitagawa Yusuke is very easy to love.
Relationships: Kitagawa Yusuke/Kurosu Jun, Kurosu Jun/Suou Tatsuya, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48
Collections: Fortune Favors: Round One— Rider-Waite-Smith





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:
>
>> Cards: 2 of Wands (Reversed) / 5 of Pentacles / The Moon (Reversed)
>> 
>> Spread: Past/Present/Future
> 
>   
The bang time is Jun/Yusuke, but the other pairings play a major role. Shukita is tagged as minor because I feel that, due to Jun's POV, the other pairings are more of a focus for him.
> 
> This is based on the present year when Jun would be around 37 and Yusuke 19+.

Jun's first time is in a classroom.

The last rays of sunset beam through the window, drawing his attention out to the path leading away from the school, bordered with trees; so close, and yet so far. He's bent over, hands gripping the shelf in front of the windowsill. The lower the icy hand on his back moves, the more the shelf shakes.

He heard it might be easier in this position, but for who, he isn't sure. His knees ache from the constant wobbling, and his feet hurt from fidgeting as he slams the balls of his feet against the hard ground.

It's supposed to be better this way: to be entered, and for all the right spots to be hit with such intensity that he will be, as they say, "seeing stars."

Jun hasn't seen the stars in a long time. If this takes a while, maybe night will creep over them and he'll be able to watch them through the windows as his student finally ends up fucking him.

Just a few hours ago, he was giving a lecture in this very room. Although his physical appearance — soft eyes, timid smile — often brings about defiance, he can lead a group of dozens of university students through any topic of his choosing. He's passionate about what he teaches, and that shows when he easily melts into his lectures, capturing the attention of all who listen.

The student behind him is Kitagawa Yusuke, a purveyor of art who has a way with words. He speaks plainly, and Jun appreciates that.

Even his movements speak volumes as his fingers trail along his spine, knowing where to head but not quite what to do. Jun doesn't know, either, but he doesn't tell Yusuke that. He doesn't want him knowing that they're both new to this.

More than anything, he doesn't want Yusuke to be afraid.

When he speaks, his voice echoes, bouncing off the walls and ringing in Jun's ears.

"I don't…"

Jun can feel his hands shaking against his back. He straightens up, his back popping uncomfortably, before turning to him. It's growing darker by the minute in the classroom, and from the way the sun has shifted, he can't make out the look in his eyes.

But he can see his frown, painted so crisp and clear that Jun has to kiss the worry away. His lips are cold and new, and for a moment Jun thinks about how odd it was for him to have his student's hand in his pants before they ever kissed.

Jun isn't opposed to kissing. From what he's learning, it's quite nice; a mesh of lips and skin. He just never planned any of this. He never planned on needing this. 

Neither, he knows, had Yusuke. Their bodies and hearts found one another in their time of need, bringing them together and winding them up so tightly that Jun could barely move without seeing Yusuke wherever he turned.

Jun cups his cheek, offering him his warmest smile. He's won over hundreds of people with that smile, students and colleagues alike, but Yusuke is somehow impervious to its charm.

But not the hunger. Yusuke's arms wrap around him, pulling him closer as he pushes at the top of his pants hanging around his thighs. Jun's belt clangs to the floor and he winces, the sound roaring in his ears. He acknowledges it, appreciating the glamor Yusuke's touch has cast on him, but he does not succumb. He remains whole.

Lips press at his neck, trailing down to explore his chest as Yusuke's tongue circles his nipples. There is such passion in each of his caresses that it takes Jun's breath away.

He isn't used to being so adored, so lavished with affection.

Jun isn't used to such attention at all.

* * *

They first meet during a morning class. The sky is still painted a hazy blue as Jun sets his bag on the desk at the front of the lecture hall, the majority of the seats empty. Half a dozen students flit around the room, leaning on tables and chatting with friends.

All except one. He's looking out the windows, his hands framing the lingering sunrise over the horizon. The other students are sitting at the opposite end of the room as if avoiding him. As if they already know he's bad news.

Jun uses the ruse of rollcall to make his way over to the student sitting alone. He could call out each name from his desk, but this way he can mingle with the students, seeing a bit into their character.

The student doesn't hear him at first, no matter how many times he tries to excuse himself for the attempted interruption of his thoughts. He's busy, his attention stolen by the sky, but Jun isn't even given the faintest of acknowledgments. It's as if he's a ghost.

From across the room, another student calls out to him.

"That's Kitagawa. He doesn't speak much. Except when he does."

Everyone around them chuckles, being in on the vague joke. The rudeness brushes Jun the wrong way, making his skin crawl, but he doesn't admonish them. He just waits until the alleged Kitagawa finally sets his hands down and turns to him, eyes bright with a flame that surprises him.

"It is beautiful, isn't it?" he says. "And look at the way the flowers line the courtyard, dissipating on the horizon. Is it not wondrous?"

Jun nods. "It is."

Once he starts class, everyone settles in. There are no more jokes and no more staring off into the sky. Jun is able to unfurl his knowledge of the day, allowing his students to do with it as they will. When one approaches him afterward to ask if the information from today will be on the test at the end of the semester, he shakes his head. There is no test. He decides not to tell them that, though — not yet. Not after today.

Kitagawa Yusuke is the last to leave the room. Jun has to steer him out, hands dangerously close to touching his back as he does so. He knows those eyes, thirsty to suck in the new sights; despite it being a standard lecture hall, Yusuke still takes his time inspecting every table, every chair, every window. If there wasn't another class scheduled to use the room, he might have let him run amuck, but that'll have to wait for another time.

Once they're out in the hall, Yusuke picks at the cuff of his shirt. It's white with long sleeves, akin to what a high school might wrangle their students into. New to university, he may not have broken out of his shell just yet.

Jun can't help him if he doesn't speak. The student from earlier was right: Yusuke only speaks when he has much to say, savoring words for when he has something beautiful to discuss. He wonders how Yusuke might sound when he's frothing with rage.

His wrists are bony, his shirt baggy on his shoulders. Jun doesn't know what to do other than feed the man, steering him again to a fast food place down the street. His hands never touch his back; somehow that would be too much. Forbidden.

Yusuke digs into his food as if he hasn't eaten for weeks, gnawing at his burger and fries as crumbs tumble down the front of his shirt.

"You can't go home, can you?" Jun asks, more forward than he'd hoped to be, but it does the trick. Yusuke shakes his head, mouth still full of food.

"There are some things even I cannot find beauty in," he says, setting his half-finished burger on the table. The wrapper crinkles. A bit of sauce still clings to his lips.

"I find that hard to believe. With the way you were looking outside and the way you spoke about the flowers."

The mention of flowers seems to perk Yusuke up, that faraway look slipping back into his eyes.

"There are flowers outside my apartment building. I paint them sometimes."

Yusuke has a lot to say about art and beauty, and Jun spurs him on, asking him questions and probing his thoughts. It isn't that Yusuke is quiet — not at all. He's one of the loudest people Jun has ever met, with his hands clenching the table and his voice quickening as he slips into yet another diatribe.

He just needs the right subject. If anything, Yusuke is somehow free of the norms of society; he knows what he wants.

At some point, he sets his sight on Jun, attaching himself like a leech. Jun doesn't mind the attention, doesn't mind being stared at — not the way Yusuke does, it anyway. Yusuke sees past his age, past his profession, past the clothes he wears.

They've barely known each other for a week when he first asks Jun to pose nude for him. Yusuke's signed up for a life drawing class for his first semester, and he has experience with drawing nudity outside of that, but it's still an odd request.

Because Jun is his teacher, and because it stirs something up inside him that he refuses to put a name to.

He rejects his proposal at first, and everything seems to trudge on like before. No hard feelings, then. Yusuke still comes to class, Jun still lectures in the near-empty hall to the scratch of pencils in notebooks as students jot down his words, and sometimes Jun takes Yusuke out to eat like he had the first day they met.

But then there's the day Yusuke doesn't come to class — and another and another. His side of the room is barren now, a wasteland. Jun's lessons ring hollow in the large room; his voice echoes back to him, and he sounds dull. Flat.

The next time he sees Yusuke, traipsing the halls on his way to one class or another, his shoulders sagging, Jun asks him to dinner. It'll be a proper meal this time; Jun will cook for him at his apartment.

Yusuke doesn't say yes, but he doesn't say no, either. Jun presses a slip of paper into his hand: directions to his apartment. His skin is cold.

He doesn't know what Yusuke likes, and it strikes him that he probably should've asked when he had the chance. He wonders if Yusuke would have given him the words, tasting them in his mouth. As he cooks, Jun thinks he might not be worthy of them. Especially not with what it is he's been thinking about, a quiet "yes" hidden just past his lips.

Yusuke slips off his shoes at the entryway, his entire body heavy as he sits at the table. Every bone in his body is dragging him down, down.

Jun hopes to lift him back up. If he can find out what's bothering him, maybe he can help. Maybe he'll start coming to class again and Jun won't have to feel so guilty.

Halfway through the evening, Yusuke caves with Jun's hand on his arm, coaxing him to confession.

"I live with a friend," Yusuke says — as if that explains anything. "He means everything to me."

Jun gives him time; that's all he has to offer. The seconds march on and still Jun's hand is on him.

After a while, Yusuke continues. "Have you ever felt as if you've lost something very precious?"

Outside, the sky is growing dark. A shadow falls over Yusuke's face, but still, Jun doesn't leave, not even to turn on the lights.

_All the time, _he wants to say._ My whole life._

Jun nods. "But you've never had it, have you? That which you've lost."

Even in the emboldened darkness, Jun can see his frown, can feel the way his body stiffens beneath his hand. Yusuke reaches for him, plucking his fingers from his arm before weaving them together.

They are more alike than Jun ever thought. Maybe Yusuke's demons are more logical, but their hunger binds them, regardless.

"What's his name?" Jun asks. "Your friend."

"Akira."

"Mine's Tatsuya." As Jun bows his head, his hair digs into his eye. Hidden. Unseeing. "Although he's not a friend, exactly."

In the safety of Jun's dining room, with darkness sweeping over him, they speak of lost love. Yusuke tells him about Akira, how he has cherished him more than life itself but always seems to fall short. He was oblivious at first to the way Akira fell so easily into flirting — even with Yusuke himself — but after living with him for months now, he's starting to catch on. There's a fire in Akira's eyes that frightens him, ravenous and starved.

"Even if I had the opportunity," Yusuke says, irritation seeping into every word, "what if I could not satiate him? What if I could not give him what he needs?"

"And you know what it is? This thing he wants."

Yusuke looks away. "I have seen it with my own eyes, though I wish I had not."

When Jun asks him to clarify, Yusuke shakes his head. Whatever he saw haunts him in his dreams, stalking him in his waking hours.

"There are some things even I —"

"— can't find beauty in," Jun finishes. "I remember. Have you told him how you feel?"

"Shouldn't he know? Shouldn't he feel the passion I have for him? I paint him constantly. Shouldn't he see it in my art?"

Jun stands and pulls him in for a hug, patting his back and running his hand through his hair. At this, Yusuke makes a choked sound, and Jun almost shifts away, but arms wrap around him, trapping him.

"More of that," Yusuke says, grabbing Jun's fallen hand and placing it back on his head. "Please."

After relocating to the sofa, Jun cradles him in his arms. His body is warm against him, his hair so soft. He smells faintly of salt and sweat, like the breeze of the sea on a cold day.

Jun tells him about Tatsuya. About how they've only been in contact for a year now, but he feels as if he's known him for a lifetime. They met through his father, a retired university professor researching for a crime novel.

"How strange is it to love someone you've only just met?" Tears fill his eyes. "Someone you don't even know."

Yusuke doesn't answer. He's fighting his demons here in Jun's arms, sorting through his pain.

"Paint me," Jun finally says, and at this, Yusuke sits up. "However you'd like."


	2. Chapter 2

It's this invitation that leads Yusuke to pose him in his apartment living room a few days later. Jun shivers; no amount of heat could warm him. Yusuke has him perch on a stool, leaning forward. He watches Jun's face for a while, biting his lip and thinning his eyes as he ponders the sight before him.

"You're beautiful," Yusuke says once he's stepped back, a stick of charcoal held between his fingers. His hand meets the large drawing pad he has set on his easel, scratching the charcoal against the page.

Jun winces. Yusuke's eyes never leave his, trusting his hand to guide him.

It's then that Akira comes home, key twisting in the doorknob before he's staring at a naked Jun. He thinks to cover himself, skin flushing from his head to his toes, but he doesn't. He doesn't want to interrupt Yusuke's process.

Akira forces a smile, lips twitching. His quick introduction is polite, then his hand is on Yusuke's shoulder, pulling him away from his art and into the kitchen. Out of earshot, he probably hopes, but Jun still hears Akira raise his voice. Not with anger, but sadness.

Yusuke's voice remains the same throughout the entire exchange: quiet, confused. He really has no idea.

When they finish — Jun imagines it didn't turn out well for Akira, knowing Yusuke's knack for naivete — everyone scatters. Akira leaves the apartment, Yusuke disappears into his melancholy, and Jun wonders how he ended up posing nude for one of his students.

"He doesn't understand art the way I do," Yusuke laments after a while. His fingers are blackened from the charcoal, smudged along his fingertips. He crosses his arms over his once-white shirt, covering it with dust.

_No._ Jun hides his thoughts beneath a small smile. _It's you who doesn't understand the heart of the man you so desperately crave._

_But who am I to judge?_

* * *

"How's your father's book coming along?"

Brown hair that twists at the ends, hugging his neck; a hint of auburn. Tatsuya's cup of coffee makes a soft thunk as he sets it down on the cafe's table.

"It's done, actually. Published." Jun grabs a copy of the book from his bag and pushes it across the table. Their fingers touch.

Tatsuya flips through the book, investigating both covers. It is his job, after all; being a detective, he is in the business of understanding.

"Tell him I said thank you. It looks great."

"He told me to thank you, too. For your help." Jun smiles, sad as he feels his grip loosening but happy for being able to experience it at all.

When the door of the cafe shuts behind Tatsuya as he leaves for the last time, Jun lets out a choked sob. That's it. All they ever had was tied up in his father's book, and the memories of meeting up with him and Tatsuya at this very cafe sweep through him.

It wasn't by chance that they met. When Jun first saw him, sitting in the booth wearing his crisp suit, he knew he loved him. He knew it more than he's ever known anything.

_What if I hadn't come with Papa that first time? What if I hadn't been helping organize his notes?_

_There wouldn't have been a second time. Or a third, or a fourth._

His heart hurts: less at the loss and more because he knows now that Tatsuya never felt the same pull.

The grief leads him to Yusuke, the oblivious artist. They have surpassed words as their bodies find one another, warmth in another person at last.

Deciding that being bent over the shelf by the window might not be the best position for them, Jun pushes him toward his chair at the front of the room, guiding him down with firm hands on his shoulders. Yusuke obeys. Yusuke has no words. Not now.

The chair creaks beneath them as Jun crawls into his lap, kissing him over and over. With their eyes closed, they could almost pretend they're with someone else, the very center of their worlds, but Jun doesn't want to. He wants to lose himself in another. Someone who isn't well known to him, but not as much of a stranger as Tatsuya.

_How unconventional._

He smiles into Yusuke's lips, skin flushed as he reaches to undo his belt. His zipper is so loud it almost echoes, and it reminds Jun of the first day they met in here, of being drawn to the lonely. He never realized until now that he's just as lonely as Yusuke is.

Jun's never touched anyone else but himself like this before. He strokes Yusuke's cock in his hand, pre-come beading at the tip. When he leans in to kiss him, he can smell his sweat.

Hands wrap around his waist, one holding him steady while the other dips into his pants. His first instinct is to squirm away from the touch, but he fights it. Every movement tickles, even with Yusuke's hand around both of them now. Jun rocks his hips, unable to hold back his moans. His body is hot and something in him is coiling, ready to snap.

Then Yusuke takes his hand away, and Jun stands up to slip off his underwear. It's his last article of clothing, and without it, he feels both powerful and weak; in control and yet at the mercy of another.

It's oddly freeing to be naked in his own classroom as he trots over to his abandoned pants. He grabs the condom and lube from his pocket before returning to sit on Yusuke's lap. Although he's put on a condom before — sometimes in the dark of night, it was a gateway to something he'd never had, and sometimes he'd imagine someone else was there with him — he's never put one on someone else. It's wet with lube and the strong latex smell makes him wrinkle his nose.

Yusuke stretches the plastic to the brim. Jun never imagined him being quite so large, but he is enjoying the idea now: of being taken and of giving. He uses the lube he brought to finger himself as he watches Yusuke staring back at him as if enraptured.

"You are so —"

Jun moans, grabbing Yusuke's hands and placing them on his hips, letting him guide him up and against the tip of his length.

_Beautiful._

_I_ _ know._

Being entered stings at first. He thinks of all the articles he's read — all the how-tos, all the advice from faceless strangers — but when it comes down to it, it's just him and Yusuke, wrapped up in one another. He's being stretched like never before, and despite the ache, it feels good, his mind reeling at the sensations flooding him.

They move slowly, rocking against each other. When he was thinking about this earlier, bereft with grief at a love who never loved him, Jun imagined it'd be hard and fast. He thought he wanted that, a rutting to feel and forget, but he prefers it this way.

His hips don't start to hurt until Yusuke's close, fingernails digging into his skin. It's another ache, adding to the cacophony of pain that slips into pleasure as he squeezes his shoulders. His thumbs run along Yusuke's collarbones, eyes snapping shut every time he's hit so deeply he can't help but fly a little further away. But he wants to say here with Yusuke, drowning in the most doting of eyes.

When Yusuke kisses him, Jun is left breathless. Their lips are wet as their tongues touch, meeting in each other's mouths. Tasting, exploring what it's like to be lavished. Jun can feel his lips chapping already, but he doesn't pull away. He couldn't even if he tried.

Lips trail downward, finding his chest again. Strong arms wrap around his waist, scratching at his back. It all hurts less now as Yusuke eases himself further and further in, and Jun wonders how he can retain such composure. If he had the strength — the willpower — he thinks he might've taken him as fast as he could, pain be damned as he rode him, feeling every inch of him.

He's glad Yusuke is his first. Surprisingly patient Yusuke. Careful. If it was with anyone else, he isn't sure he'd be able to keep his emotions in check.

Now, he just thinks of Yusuke: how he's hitting so deep inside him, making his entire body shiver. He tries to relax around him, but it's difficult when he's feeling so much at once. His head swims, fingers clenching the hair at the nape of Yusuke's neck as he kisses him, open-mouthed and gasping. His body is his own, but the pleasure is theirs. This memory belongs to them alone.

Yusuke holds him so tightly when he comes, crushing their chests together, and for a moment, Jun struggles for breath. He feels the fire, too — the need to grab his shoulders and hold on for dear life, crescent shapes from his nails marring his skin as he spills onto Yusuke's stomach.

Although he never meant to mark him, the indentations remain. Jun runs his hands across them as he catches his breath, feeling the warmth beneath his fingertips as his heart thrums in his chest. When they kiss, he can taste the rawness of his sweat.

The room is colder than he remembers as they break apart, Jun standing on shaky legs. Yusuke steadies him with his arm, his hand fire against the chill.

He doesn't know what to say. He's happy but lost as he reaches for his clothes, mood elevated as his heart races and yet still so torn. Yusuke helps him button up his shirt, his hands shaky. Although he's only a bit taller than Jun, maybe by a dozen centimeters or so, he towers over him now. Jun watches his shadow on the wall behind him, the dark shape wriggling against a still form.

The stillness is himself. It's always been himself, he realizes: stationary, pining from afar, overcome by fanciful visions that visit him in both the slumbering and waking worlds.

If only he could stretch his arm out to grasp it.

After they finish dressing, Yusuke hugs him. Their cheeks press together, and Jun can feel his tears. He hopes they're happy or at least somewhat woven with relief.

It's the second to last time Yusuke holds him.

They leave the classroom as they found it — empty — and it'll remain that way for another day or so until the weekend is over. Life will be breathed back into it, and it won't be so cold.

It won't be so lonely.

* * *

The final time Yusuke holds Jun is the first day of summer break. The visit to Jun's apartment is unannounced but appreciated, as their relationship has felt off ever since what happened. If anything, it's been like it was before: spending time together outside of school, meeting up for dinner, talking about their lives.

But they've avoided mentioning "it." Their accidental touches — bumping shoulders, hands brushing — haven't felt bad, but they haven't felt right, either. Yusuke doesn't pull away, but nor does he lean in.

"Akira invited me to come with him for the break," Yusuke says, sitting up straight on Jun's couch. His hands are twisting in his lap. "To his hometown. Kamogawa."

"I'm happy for you." Jun smiles. Waits. Knows.

Yusuke's feet tap the floor, set to the rhythm of his thoughts. He fidgets and pulls at the hem of his shirt. Coughs.

"He kissed me." His voice is so low that Jun might've missed it if he hadn't been expecting those very words or something similar. "He asked me to draw him in the nude as I did you. Then he kissed me."

When Jun sits beside him, pulling his head to his chest, Yusuke stops squirming. His entire body is still.

"How do you feel?" Jun's fingers run through his hair. So soft and no longer his, if Yusuke ever even belonged to him, anyway.

Hands clutch at Jun's shirt, stronger than they've ever been. Finally whole.

"I am happy. So happy, I struggle for words. I struggle for air. Is this what it's like — to love and be loved?"

This Jun doesn't know, never having experienced such a luxury, but the other Jun knows. He knows very well the heart of another being entwined with his, and his memories come freely now, both taunting and a relief.

Yusuke helped keep those demons at bay.

"You being happy is all that matters." Jun kisses his forehead, knowing it'll be the last time. Akira can do that for him now; every comfort is at Yusuke's fingertips. Cuddling in bed, having his hair brushed, and sex that's brought on not by mutual pain but love.

He'll have all that and more.

For a moment, the pain scorches its way through Jun's veins, and he can't help but ask: "Do you regret it? What we did."

Yusuke sits up, brow furrowed in confusion before he brings Jun into his arms. Tight, warm, safe.

"I do not," he says. A finality, a goodbye. "You gave me something wondrous."

Jun wonders what he might mean even after he's left. The room is empty, a shell of itself without its former star. Maybe Yusuke means the experience itself, or maybe he just means the sex. It could even be that he's thankful for Jun showing him that he could be — will be — loved.

He likes to think it's the latter. Not that anyone would have trouble falling in love with him if it ever comes to it. Akira will treat him well, he's sure.

If Jun has learned anything, it's that Kitagawa Yusuke is very easy to love.

Life without him is quiet and dull in comparison. He never realized how alone he felt until he had someone to fill his life with passion and intrigue.

A week after Yusuke has left for Kamogawa, Jun's phone lights up with a text message in the middle of the night. He's tired, eyes weary and worn, but he can't sleep. His world is hollow.

He sees the message before he reads the name of the sender. Before he ties the pieces together.

> I can't stop thinking about you. It's five in the morning and this is going to sound weird, but I can't stop thinking about watches and lighters and flowers. And somehow I know you're in the middle of it all. I just don't know how.
> 
> I'll be at the usual place. You're probably asleep or think I'm out of my mind, but…
> 
> That's where I'll be.
> 
> From: Tatsuya

Jun's out of bed and pulling on fresh clothes before he gives himself any time to think. He runs a hand through his hair, trying to coax some order into the mess, but he doesn't bother turning on a light to check. He has somewhere to be, and right now, that's all that matters.

The journey to the cafe is a blur. People on the light rail glance his way, concerned expressions on their faces, but he just crosses his arms, squeezing his chest tight. He's imagining it's someone else's arms around him.

Tatsuya is the only customer at the cafe when Jun arrives. The sensations flood him: the light cream of the walls, the sound of his feet padding against the wooden floor, the smell of coffee and fresh raspberry scones. He never thought he'd experience any of this again, and without Tatsuya to lead him back here, he never would have.

There are two mugs on the table when Jun slides into the booth, one on either side of the table. The cup is still warm.

"You knew I'd come."

Tatsuya shakes his head. There are dark circles beneath his eyes. "I didn't. I just wanted it so badly. More than —"

"— anything. I know."

Their hands meet on the table, fingers tentatively exploring. Jun sighs, feeling his body relax at the touch.

If he and Yusuke hadn't lain together that one time, he wonders if he would've come — if Tatsuya would have even sent that message, anyway. Although his heart has always been full of love, it's always been so closed off. Untouchable. They helped pry open each other's inhibitions, opening them to possibility. To love.

As quickly as it all began and ended, Jun loves his friend for that. Yusuke was right: they gave one another a wondrous gift.

When Jun kisses Tatsuya for the first time, he isn't afraid. His heart hammers in his chest, faraway memories that aren't quite his own dancing through his mind. The awkwardness of their lips meeting makes his eyes water as they try to find what works for them.

They are two pieces of a much larger puzzle that Jun doesn't think he'll ever truly understand, but for now, it doesn't matter. All he needs risht now is Tatsuya: his half-lidded eyes as he stares at him with the longing of two lifetimes, his parted lips wanting more but afraid to ask. Afraid to lose what they've built up, despite the past memories of another world.

Jun kisses him again, cupping his face in his hands. His thumbs trace Tatsuya's cheekbones; he knows this face, but there's still more to learn. Always more.

They'll have the rest of their lives to make up for lost time, and if fate is kind, maybe they'll have the next lifetime, too.

**Author's Note:**

> One of the meanings for lotus is "far from the one he loves," which is why I chose it for the title.
> 
> I had a melancholic sort of tone in mind for this story, then finally relief in the end for both Jun and Yusuke as they find their happiness.
> 
> I saw this pairing nominated for an exchange earlier this year, and it really resonated with me, so I really wanted to try to write these two together in some way.


End file.
